I ran into him!

Tuesday October 2, 2007

One and a half years is a long time…to heal, to forget, to forgive, to change, to dream, to achieve, to take control..

Though I must admit I completely screwed up on the forgetting part.

Much as I sound like the hopeless loser, I’ve thought about him often, way too often actually, in the past 1.5 years…since Easter’06, the last time I saw him. Ok, I’ve more than just thought about him…I’ve hoped, cursed, dreamt, extrapolated our every encounter to see how they could’ve been different; dissected every piece of communication we’ve had to see how I could’ve played the game smarter; thought about all the things I could’ve said and done to avoid the pathetic obsession I’ve indulged in for more than 3 years..sometimes time forgets but we fail to.

Brigade Road is where we chose to go today…my friends and I…to mark my return to Bangalore, & snap out of the holiday mode I was slowly getting too used to. We were generally soaking in the sights and sounds of the semi-bustling and curfew-ridden city when I spotted him…for a nano-second before I looked away…swoosh swoosh swoosh…if sights could have corresponding sounds, that would be it…green t-shirt and a baseball cap..dazed eyes..nothing’s changed…everything’s changed…i glanced at 3 years of longing for just an instant and decided I’ve had enough..at least for now….

Confusion, affection, curiosity and hatred debated as I walked away, stopped, turned and looked away again…a forum wrapped in white polka dots on green and blue levi’s..confusion lost first…trying to make a point lost in the umms and the ers…affection seduced curiosity and outnumbered hatred..curiosity grew selfish and drove away the tearful affection…hatred watched, waited and contemplated…lost interest and faded away

Curiosity won…it grinned a triumphant grin at my friends and looked around…He was gone.