The happy part of me

About 21 years ago, something really drastic happened in my life. I was barely an year old, and just coming to terms with the fact that I probably wasn’t the best thing to hit the world. I could feel it. The world was coming to an end; the centre of the universe was shifting, from me to this stranger my parents were still guessing the gender of. My mom was about to have a baby and I was supposed to love it. I’d always hated lack of options.

I do not remember the fateful day but I’m told I wasn’t a keen participant in all the excitement. The baby was born, I was suddenly entrusted with the responsibility of setting an example and my mom spent all her energy shutting up the whiny, awkward infant. I wasn’t too fond of her and was desperate to escape to this wonderland called school.

My oldest memory of my sister is that of kindergarten. I’d suddenly discovered the power trip of walking into lower KG threatening to punch anyone who messed with her. Such joy! I suppose the whole protective instinct took off thereafter.

As we grew a little older, she took on a new role-that of a student. A rather inquisitive 5 year old, I had a personal logic for everything and an answer to every question insufficiently justified by my father. I’d felt extremely obliged to pass on all the knowledge to my clueless younger sibling, giving her enough scope for ridicule later in life. She’d stand up for me and my stories, thinking Akka (big sister) knew it all.

In the past 21 years, she’s been my best friend, my biggest supporter, and my (extremely soggy) crying shoulder. She articulated my life; broke it down to simple things and helped me live each one differently, completely and gratefully. Some bonds hold you back but this one holds me together.

Mona makes my life beautiful, happy, silly, musical, noisy, passionate, hopeful, dismal, crazy, demanding, unjust, justified, colourful (if you can call black a colour)-all at the same time. Mona is more than just my sister. She is the happy part of me.

And Mona will kill me for all this mush.